Reason to hold on

After slightly more than 3 months, I have finally found a reason that I can accept for why C broke up with me.

Was watching Coach Cole's Youtube video and he mentioned that one scenario where two people can get back together in a relationship is when the reason behind the breakup is family tragedy, e.g. the passing of a close family member. This inspired me to think that maybe the reason for the breakup is this: that her sister is going through a divorce, and as the closest family member to her, C needed and wanted to be there for her sister in this very difficult phase of her life. To be physically and emotionally present for her to give her the support. And there is no telling how long this phase will be, until the day she feels that her sister is going to be ok or she feels ready to let go. Hence, instead of keeping me waiting or hanging, the responsible thing to do is to have a clean break up with me.

Now, of course, the logical side of me would say that I am just finding a reason to hold on, to wait and hope that this phase will pass and C will reach out and we can get back together.

However, the emotional side of me hopes that my guess is correct. After all, there are several points that seemed to support this conjecture.

Firstly,  the breakup was totally unexpected and served on a short notice, which seemed to suggest a life altering event, aka a major shock happened, on 11 June which triggered an urgent review of our relationship, or whatever you call it, and she needed to end everything fast. Can't even wait for another weekend. This is despite the fact that we have never even quarrelled once in the 3 months and she even brought me to meet her close friend of 25 years just a few days earlier.

Secondly, she seemed to be unusually heavily affected by her sister's divorce. I can never forget how she cried in front of me at a moment's notice when she mentioned her sister's divorce. The swell of emotion is so real and strong. And this was also the exact same reason which caused her to disappear for a few days the first time round, at least based on what she told me.

Thirdly, the breakup message gave a reason which didn't seem to square up to me, or in other words, a reason which I didn't believe to be true, namely our connection is not one that would develop into a long-term romantic relationship. For me, three incidents stood out. First, in Korea, she texted to say that she would keep an open mind as to how things can go between us. Second, she gave an unmistakable smile at our 7th date when I asked her if she likes me. Third, she just allowed me to send her home and brought me to meet her close friend, who even made an attempt to remember my name. If she had been thinking about a breakup for a long time, there were no signs of that, at least not apparent ones.

Of course, I still have no good explanation as to why she blocked and then unblocked me on Telegram, which is our last communication channel still open.

Well, the bottomline is that whether I am kidding me or not, this new found reason which I can accept does give me hope to hold on to and at least wait for her until Dec.