Back to journaling as a coping mechanism~
As they say, good things come to those who wait. Haha, guess I am still too impatient; something which I can still work on.
Anyway, sent a Mid Autumn greeting message to C on Fri. As usual, she read it but no reply. (Eh... She can understand that this is my subtle cue to her that I am still open/ waiting for her right?) As always, thinking about whether to wait or to move on. Oh well, guess we will take it one day at a time.
On the same train of thought, I thought through and came to this conclusion: as long as I don't see either of these 2 signs below, then that means she is still uncertain (i.e. I still have chance) and has not made a clear decision:
1. The subtle way to do it would be to block me on our last communication channel, aka Telegram
2. The more direct one would be to text me straight that she is dating someone else already and advise me to move on/ stop contacting her
Some further analysis I did to comfort myself. Again, this is based on the assumption that she has decided to stop dating for a while due to her sister's situation.
Assuming what she told me about dating app and physical dating event is true, then when she is ready to date again, it's quite unlikely that she will immediately go for physical dating events. Assuming I am not a rebound relationship, then there is a good chance that she will reach out to me (I am placing a lot of faith in our 3 months of dating which I thought had been a good & memorable one).
If she doesn't reach out to me, then it's likely that she will turn to dating app(s), which I predict will have a lot of guys liking her. Unless she is really super lucky to find another suitable match (values, goals & belief wise since she said that she values the intangibles more), in which case, then I have to concede and give up, otherwise, I have a good amount of faith that our 3 months of interaction should be sufficient to withstand the competition from these guys. I mean after all, I would like to think that we did have a strong and deep connection in these 3 months, and it's not easy to replicate?
Other than the possibility that she stopped dating to be there for her sister, I thought of another possibility - that she feels guilty to date while her sister is experiencing this tough period in her life. This guess is based on her very close relationship with her sister and what she told me about 男人理性，女人感性。Hmm, maybe she feels bad/guilty to date which will contrast with her sister's situation, which might in turn cause her sister to feel sad inadvertently; which is something she doesn't want to happen. Hence, she is staying away from dating for now.
Well, again this is a guess since I am not in contact with her at the moment.
One final thought. There is this possibility that she might decide to stop dating for good. (Can't rule out this possibility right?) But I am thinking, since she has decided to start dating in 2022, and tried it, then I would think that at some point in time, this idea will pop up and appeal to her again, well... there must be some happy memories which came about due to dating someone (myself or otherwise) right? So I feel that she will be open to start dating again one day, the question is when?
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