If you love her, set her free

If you love her, set her free... so that she may find the love she desires.

These words from R ring in my head.

Everyone has his/her own image of how his/her love should look like.
C made a conscious decision to leave.

C didn't accept your love, so yours is not the type of love she desires... at least not fully then. Therefore, she has to break up with you to have the chance to find the kind of love she desires.

Maybe she has found it, maybe she hasn't, but this is not part of your story anymore; it's hers. And you are no longer a part of her story.

True love is wishing the best for her. If she has found her love, be happy for her, even if it's not you. Only she can decide what is right for her and what will make her happy.

Closure Letter

Hi KY, I am sorry things ended this way. I appreciate the time and effort you have put into getting to know me and I have enjoyed spending time with you. However, I feel that our connection is not one that would develop into a long-term romantic relationship. 

Please understand that this is not a decision I have come to lightly, and I also hope you don't view this as something negative upon yourself.

Even though we can't be together in the end, I am glad you were part of my life. I am grateful for the joy you brought, the special connection we shared, and the lessons we learnt. The memories we created together will always stay in a special place in my heart.

I am sorry we couldn't make it work, that our paths diverged, that our chance encounter didn't have the ending we both hoped for. But, not all love stories are meant to last forever. Some are fleeting, some are momentary, yet they touch our lives in ways that last a lifetime. 

I am sorry for the tears, for the hurt, for the heartbreak. I wish I could take away the pain, wish I could turn back time, wish things could have been different but life has its own plan, its own course, its own rhythm.

Despite the goodbye, despite the distance, despite the silence, know that you have made an indelible mark on my life and I still care for you albeit in a different way. I will always remember you with fondness, for you brought colour into my world, even if for a short while, and for that I will always be grateful. Wish you all the best and I sincerely hope you find the right person.

娴情记语 VII

It has been 6 months since the breakup.
Well, yes, she didn't block me on Telegram but she also hasn't texted me back either.
Nonetheless, I have decided to wait until June 2024 and I intend to follow through.
C said that she is stubborn, but she didn't know that I can stubborn too~ =p
So... why am I still waiting?

人生没有重来，有时候一旦错过了就回不去了。
We only live once and there is no repeat. Sometimes when you miss each other, it's for life and there might be no going back.
While that might be true, how am I so sure that she is the one?

I think this is something I have discussed before.
I will never know with 100% certainty that she is the one, at least not now. However, she has exhibited many many signs that I would be happy spending the rest of my life with her. Her devotion to the people she love (be it family or friends), the strong emotional connection we have, the intellectual discussions we have, her strong sense of responsibility, her willingness to have tough conversations & her willingness to work through things in a relationship.

The other thing is about knowing what you want, and C has certainly attained and gone beyond the basic benchmark of what I want in a partner. Shan't elaborate further since my previous post below has already explained in detail.

 In essence, I am choosing to wait so that I can 给自己一个交代。Regardless of what happens, come June next year, I can safely tell myself that I have really tried my best and there is no regret.

 

娴情记语 VI

An unexpected thought popped into my head.

As time passes, aren't your feelings for someone supposed to fade & dilute?

Strangely, as time goes by, the more I feel that she is "the one".

Of course, I think I mentioned before, that imo there isn't just a solo "the one". There are many people who can potentially be "the one". You can possibly get together (get married) with any of these "the ones" and still live a (largely) happy & fulfilling life! So what do I mean that C is "the one"?

After all the girls I have met, both before and after the breakup, C still remains at the top of "the ones"; there was no change to her position ever since I met & dated her. Sounds pretty vague? Then let me get into the details.

Other than emotional connection and intellectual engagement (and on both counts, C shared one of the deepest ones with me), cliche as it may sound, it's the lifestyle, beliefs and values. I don't dare to say that we are perfectly aligned since we only dated for 3 months and I don't think I know her super super well yet, but based on what I had observed for the 3 months, these are highly aligned!

To give a few examples, both of us pursue a minimalist lifestyle. We go for practicality instead of brand and try to bring as little as possible when we go out. Both of us place our family in first place, and work as a close second. Both of us are highly responsible, occasionally (actually should be frequently =p) skipping lunch for work, and always ensuring that any task given to us will be completed and of a high/reasonable quality. Both of us are also fiercely loyal friends and highly dependable. And finally and most importantly, both of us believe that "Soulmates are made, not born". In other words, we have communicated to each other that we are not expecting someone who is a perfect match to just appear in our lives, but rather, prepared to work hard to maintain the relationship and work hard to sustain the relationship and not take it as a given.

And so, the more girls I interact with (I don't mean dating events since I haven't attended any since March 2023), the more her attributes seem to stand out, and it just merely affirms my gut feel: that she might just be the right one. (This is a gut feel that I had after I met her on 11 March, even though I don't really know her as well as I do now. )

Haha, can't believe it's Dec already! Going to be 6 months since the breakup soon. Well, since she hasn't blocked me on our last channel, shall continue waiting.

娴情记语 V

The way I see it, for my effort in waiting for C (to come back) to bear fruit, there are 3 conditions / factors that need to be met:

1. It's a family tragedy that will blow over given time
2. She must want to start / desire dating again
3. She remembers & values the connection we shared in that 3 months

And these need to be fulfilled sequentially.

First, my assumption of a family tragedy, something which severely affected her to the extent that she is not ready to date now, needs to be correct. And this also needs to be something which will blow over and be resolved in time to come. If this base assumption is not even valid, then there is no point thinking further.

Next, once the thing blows over, she must have the inclination / willingness to start dating again and desire to get into a serious long term relationship. Again, without this, then she won't even be looking for potential partner nor reach out to me.

Finally, once she is ready to date, why choose me? That is where the third condition / factor comes in. Only if she sees the connection in that 3 months as deep and something she desires and values, then I will come into the picture.

In any case, this is the logical side of me speaking. The ball is in her court and for now, the only thing I can do is wait.

娴情记语 IV

Was reading about the divorce procedures in Singapore.

I think I can empathise much better with what C is going through if my guess is correct, especially if she is super close to her sister and involved in the whole process with her sister.

From what I understand, seems like there are 2 routes to apply for divorce:

1. Divorce by proving adultery

2. Unreasonable behavior

Regardless of which route is chosen, divorce is a lengthy and emotionally draining process.

In the best case scenario, as long as both parties will not contest the divorce and have come to a consensus on ancillary matters, the divorce in Singapore can take as little as four months.

Of course, this is the ideal state. 6 months is probably a more realistic timeline. That means we are looking at Nov/Dec.
And all these is assuming the divorce is uncontested.

From what I know of the situation, the wife and child is all that he has, so if he loses both, he has almost nothing left.
And I am guessing the incident which happened on 11 June might also be related to him trying to contest the divorce, so there is a good likelihood that we are looking at the normal track here.

In which case, this applies...
A divorce on the normal track typically takes approximately 3 to 4 months for the Interim Judgment of Divorce to be granted, depending on the nature of the dispute and complexity, and another 3 to 8 months after that for all ancillary matters (i.e. children issues, maintenance, and the division of matrimonial assets) to be resolved. The application for the Certificate of Final Judgment is usually made after the conclusion of the ancillary matters. In some cases, divorces on the normal track may even stretch past 18 months. 😲

Assuming everything goes well, we are looking at the Dec period. If not, we are looking at May / June next year!

To summarise, we have no way to know for sure when the divorce will be finalised, there is so much uncertainty!
If I were to put myself in her shoes, I can't even put a timeline to when this matter will conclude, and when I will feel fine enough to start dating again. Considering this, it's no wonder she opted for a clean break rather than ask for time off. It's the only way to be fair to me, and herself.

Now, doing all these research about the proceeding and procedure has allowed me to better understand what she was and is still going through. And we still haven't included the parts about going down to the lawyer's office with her sister to discuss the case (which can be traumatic), constantly looking out for and consoling her sister about this, and... how this might impact her belief in "man"kind. That is a lot to follow up on and follow through.

It's not just a lot of work but an emotional roller coaster. It's a huge load on her mental / emotional capacity.

If I were her, I also wouldn't be in the mood to date anyone. Dating is probably the last thing on my mind until this issue gets settled.

The 4 Stages of Relationship

Chanced upon something proposed by Matthew Hussey called the 4 Stages of Relationship which made sense to me.

It goes like this:

Stage 1: Admiration

Stage 2: Chemistry & Connection

Stage 3: Commitment

Stage 4: Compatibility

 

From what I understand, it progresses sequentially, i.e. from Stage 1 to Stage 2 and so on. Now, each stage is necessary before you can move on to the next.

In Stage 1, you admire something about someone from the opposite gender. It can be looks, intelligence, money etc. And it doesn't even need to be mutual; can be a single sided admiration.

In Stage 2, the two people develop chemistry, interact and start to build a connection. This is now 2-way, aka mutual interest. Typically in this stage, both of them build a strong connection which leads them to consider an official BGR.

In Stage 3, the two people say yes to each other and enter into an official BGR and commit to each other, i.e. don't date other people, and spend a lot more time together.

In Stage 4, they assess their mutual compatibility and whether a long term romantic relationship is feasible.

Interestingly, compatibility is the one which Matthew finds the hardest to define in exact terms, and I am not surprised! The example he gave is both people can value kindness, but kindness can mean different things to the two people. To put it in simple terms, compatibility will determine whether a relationship will last in the long run. Is there any one thing or two things that is unbearable and can cause the strain on the relationship to be so great such that it breaks apart?

I have a more specific way to scope compatibility. For me, the compatibility can be measured through values, beliefs and goals, i.e. whether the couple shared similar / the same values, beliefs and goals. The way I see it, if values, beliefs and goals are aligned, then I will say that the compatibility is there and the relationship is likely to last.

In C's breakup message, she did mention "I feel our connection is not one that would develop into a long-term romantic relationship". I wonder if she saw this Matthew Hussey video and is making reference to this 4 stages things; which begs the question: she hasn't even progressed to Commitment stage yet, how did she assess compatibility? Or did she observe some deal breaker which she is not willing to tell me?

娴情记语 III

Seems like the best thing I can do now is wait~

Avoidant attachment style??? (well, there are signs of that) --> give her time & space
Sister's divorce --> give her time & space
Any other family related matters --> give her time & space

In short, the optimal thing I can do at the moment is to give her time and space and wait until she is ready to consider dating again. The more you push her for an answer, the further she will move away. Something I have to keep reminding myself. If she doesn't reach out, that means she is not ready. In other words, there is nothing I can do on my end. While the brain can reason it out this way, the heart finds it hard to sit still and do nothing.

That's why I ended up breaking the No Contact and texting her. So far 2 texts have been sent with no reply (not totally unexpected). The intent is both to remind her of me and to let her know I am still open (probably more of the latter than the former since I don't think she has forgotten me yet).

Of course, now that it's approaching 4 months after breakup, this is becoming a dilemma.

"To text or not to text? That is the question."

Even Coach Lee doesn't have a clear answer. He did say that after the 4 month mark, your ex will start to get used to not having you around, so there is nothing to lose in reaching out. However, do you continue to text if she doesn't reply your first text? Coach Lee didn't give an answer to this.

For now, I will just text her every 6 weeks (or so), hopefully that is not too frequent and will give her that time and space which she wants. For now, there is nothing I can do until she reaches out. The ball is totally in her court. Me texting her is just giving her the signal that she doesn't need to worry about me rejecting, and she can feel safe in reaching out.

Still holding on because part of me still likes her a lot and the sudden breakup doesn't make any sense to me. I get the feeling that "this story hasn't ended", 未完待续。Guess there is only one way to find out: wait.

Or maybe I should just work on my composure/ maturity. Do what I should do, live life as I want without worrying about bumping into her.
If it happens, just wave and smile.

And continue to wait until... I cannot wait anymore.

娴情记语 II

Was thinking about the question CL (C's good friend) posed: How can you be 100% sure C is the one?

Well, to be honest, no one can be 100% sure until you get married to the person. In fact, I think we can never be 100% sure.
To quote C, "dating is a gamble and involves some risk taking".
That's why we all date and take time to get to know someone, isn't it?
What we are trying to do is to gain as much certainty as possible and reduce the risk as much as we can and ascertain that this person is the one we are comfortable to be with for the rest of our lives.

I digress. Back to CL's question.
CL asked this question twice. Both times I gave a strong affirmative response, and the reason I gave was feeling.

Interestingly, while I still think C is the one or one of the "ones", the reason why I think so actually changed over time!

This is where I thought CL's other question was useful. That question was "When did you start liking C really?"

I guess one good thing that came out of this 3 plus months since C paused (hopefully) talking to me is that I had a lot of time to look at the 3 months we shared objectively and really think clearly about whether and why I like C.

There were 3 phases.

After getting my 3 mutual matches on 11 March, I already placed C as my first choice, at the top of the rank order. Why? Feeling. She made me comfortable and I enjoyed talking to her. Haha, and we were merely talking about ice cream! Haha, you must be thinking this is superficial right? Probably, but that's how things started. At our first encounter, 我对她有好感。

Ok I digress.

The 1st phase where I thought she could be the one is after our first date. Unlike 11 March, we had a good 2h to chat. It was at this meetup where I discovered we had plenty in common (first of 3 children, the colour of our school attire was the same from pri to JC, same university, both are workaholic, both just started dating recently). The second date at Cowpresso further affirmed all these (where I discovered her dad shared the same horoscope as me and my dad shared the same horoscope as her!). In summary, at this phase, I thought she is the one because we shared so many similarities, at least in terms of the external factors mentioned earlier. Honestly, at this phase, I didn't get to see or witness the intangibles much.

In the 2nd phase, it was the period between our 4th and 6th date. At this point, we opened up to each others a lot more. I got to understand her a lot more in terms of her values and beliefs, e.g. going for functionality instead of going for brand name, placing & valuing her family as her first priority, work as a key pillar in her life etc. And it seems like our values and beliefs matched well. Our conversations were also getting quite deep, the connection was also getting deeper and stronger. In fact, I would even daresay that for a 3 month relationship / dating-ship or whatever you call it, it was unexpectedly and unusually deep. I also got this feeling that she trusted me (at least enough) and even cried in front of me, which I took as a positive affirmation. I was thinking, hey I really don't mind spending the rest of my life in this way with this person, aka C.

Haha, so both in both phase 1 & phase 2, in each case, I thought that was "when" I really started liking C. The deep reflection I did after the breakup made me realise that actually when I really like C might actually be on the 8th & last date before the breakup. That was when C did several things which tugged my heartstring and more or less confirmed for me that she is the one or one of the ones. So what happened?

1. Her friend tried to ask me question while I was eating. C stepped in and told her that I can't multi-task; when I am eating, I can't talk and vice versa. So if I start answering her, I will stop eating. At the drinks session, when her friend suggested ordering calamari, again C stepped in to tell her that I am allergic to seafood. (Read: she remembers my habits and is caring enough to speak up for me.)

2. After dinner & drinks, for the first time ever, she actually offered to treat me. I see it as a good sign and a re-balancing of sort; like she wants to contribute more in this relationship to make it more equal instead of me always being the one giving. And we even did a cute small "fighting" where I snatched her card while she was paying and passed her mine, and then she snatched it back. And then I told her "now that I have your hp number, you know I can PayLah you back right?" And we just smiled at each other after the "fighting".

Adding these to the 2 other actions observed from the 7th date: noticing my phone was on low batt and passing me her portable charger, and texting me to check whether I have reached home safely, all these made me certain that she is the one or one of the ones.

Haha, this is as much as I can observe so far. But I am silently confident that if we continue dating, I will see more and more positive stuff which will further affirm the decision.

In any case, it's back to waiting for her to reach (back) out to me.

娴情记语 I

Back to journaling as a coping mechanism~

As they say, good things come to those who wait. Haha, guess I am still too impatient; something which I can still work on.

Anyway, sent a Mid Autumn greeting message to C on Fri. As usual, she read it but no reply. (Eh... She can understand that this is my subtle cue to her that I am still open/ waiting for her right?) As always, thinking about whether to wait or to move on. Oh well, guess we will take it one day at a time.

On the same train of thought, I thought through and came to this conclusion: as long as I don't see either of these 2 signs below, then that means she is still uncertain (i.e. I still have chance) and has not made a clear decision:

1. The subtle way to do it would be to block me on our last communication channel, aka Telegram

2. The more direct one would be to text me straight that she is dating someone else already and advise me to move on/ stop contacting her

Some further analysis I did to comfort myself. Again, this is based on the assumption that she has decided to stop dating for a while due to her sister's situation.

Assuming what she told me about dating app and physical dating event is true, then when she is ready to date again, it's quite unlikely that she will immediately go for physical dating events. Assuming I am not a rebound relationship, then there is a good chance that she will reach out to me (I am placing a lot of faith in our 3 months of dating which I thought had been a good & memorable one). 

If she doesn't reach out to me, then it's likely that she will turn to dating app(s), which I predict will have a lot of guys liking her. Unless she is really super lucky to find another suitable match (values, goals & belief wise since she said that she values the intangibles more), in which case, then I have to concede and give up, otherwise, I have a good amount of faith that our 3 months of interaction should be sufficient to withstand the competition from these guys. I mean after all, I would like to think that we did have a strong and deep connection in these 3 months, and it's not easy to  replicate?

Other than the possibility that she stopped dating to be there for her sister, I thought of another possibility - that she feels guilty to date while her sister is experiencing this tough period in her life. This guess is based on her very close relationship with her sister and what she told me about 男人理性，女人感性。Hmm, maybe she feels bad/guilty to date which will contrast with her sister's situation, which might in turn cause her sister to feel sad inadvertently; which is something she doesn't want to happen. Hence, she is staying away from dating for now.

Well, again this is a guess since I am not in contact with her at the moment.

One final thought. There is this possibility that she might decide to stop dating for good. (Can't rule out this possibility right?) But I am thinking, since she has decided to start dating in 2022, and tried it, then I would think that at some point in time, this idea will pop up and appeal to her again, well... there must be some happy memories which came about due to dating someone (myself or otherwise) right? So I feel that she will be open to start dating again one day, the question is when?

Reason to hold on

After slightly more than 3 months, I have finally found a reason that I can accept for why C broke up with me.

Was watching Coach Cole's Youtube video and he mentioned that one scenario where two people can get back together in a relationship is when the reason behind the breakup is family tragedy, e.g. the passing of a close family member. This inspired me to think that maybe the reason for the breakup is this: that her sister is going through a divorce, and as the closest family member to her, C needed and wanted to be there for her sister in this very difficult phase of her life. To be physically and emotionally present for her to give her the support. And there is no telling how long this phase will be, until the day she feels that her sister is going to be ok or she feels ready to let go. Hence, instead of keeping me waiting or hanging, the responsible thing to do is to have a clean break up with me.

Now, of course, the logical side of me would say that I am just finding a reason to hold on, to wait and hope that this phase will pass and C will reach out and we can get back together.

However, the emotional side of me hopes that my guess is correct. After all, there are several points that seemed to support this conjecture.

Firstly,  the breakup was totally unexpected and served on a short notice, which seemed to suggest a life altering event, aka a major shock happened, on 11 June which triggered an urgent review of our relationship, or whatever you call it, and she needed to end everything fast. Can't even wait for another weekend. This is despite the fact that we have never even quarrelled once in the 3 months and she even brought me to meet her close friend of 25 years just a few days earlier.

Secondly, she seemed to be unusually heavily affected by her sister's divorce. I can never forget how she cried in front of me at a moment's notice when she mentioned her sister's divorce. The swell of emotion is so real and strong. And this was also the exact same reason which caused her to disappear for a few days the first time round, at least based on what she told me.

Thirdly, the breakup message gave a reason which didn't seem to square up to me, or in other words, a reason which I didn't believe to be true, namely our connection is not one that would develop into a long-term romantic relationship. For me, three incidents stood out. First, in Korea, she texted to say that she would keep an open mind as to how things can go between us. Second, she gave an unmistakable smile at our 7th date when I asked her if she likes me. Third, she just allowed me to send her home and brought me to meet her close friend, who even made an attempt to remember my name. If she had been thinking about a breakup for a long time, there were no signs of that, at least not apparent ones.

Of course, I still have no good explanation as to why she blocked and then unblocked me on Telegram, which is our last communication channel still open.

Well, the bottomline is that whether I am kidding me or not, this new found reason which I can accept does give me hope to hold on to and at least wait for her until Dec.

希望。遗忘

美梦的开始

我是家中的老二，从小就夹在大哥与小弟中间。我的存在总被忽视，我的牺牲与付出是理所当然的。那年，合唱团欲筹办大型歌舞剧，要求校友帮忙。时间上配合得来，我也就答应了。没想到，这竟是美梦的开始。经过几个月的筹备，演出终于圆满落幕。谢幕后，你走过来，将一个印上我姓名的小杯子递给我，并感谢我抽出时间参与演出。我不是在做梦。终于有人注意到我的存在。我的付出不被当成理所当然。只是一个印上我姓名的小杯子，但却盛着满满的暖意，也燃起了我心中的希望。

期望

年底，学校派合唱团出国比赛，校友也获邀一同参赛。结伴同游的这几天，心中有个小小的愿望— 期望有机会更了解你、期望在你心中我能从一个普通的校友成为一位能谈心的知己。

盼望

我是幸运的。没想到出国比赛后，学校竟安排合唱团到本地知名的购物商场报佳音，一个星期数次。这让我有更多的机会和你相处。你总是设身处地地为他人着想，以至常常累坏自己的身体。看了真让我心疼，只盼望你能给我机会好好照顾你。

渴望

本想默默地在你身边照顾你就好了，但原来人是贪心的。愚蠢的我还是找了机会向你告白，渴望你能打开心中的那扇门，让我进入，成为你生命的一部分，成为你的守护者。这样，美梦就成真了。

绝望

期望、盼望、渴望只是我一个人的奢望。

梦醒了。

如今只剩下美梦幻灭后的绝望。

也许，我不该做梦。

遗忘。

我。。能。。

Quotes 2009

The deepest secret is that life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation. You are not discovering yourself, but creating yourself anew. Seek, therefore, not to find out who you are; seek to determine who you want to be.

~Neale Donald Walsch

Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.

~Colin Powell

Strength and courage aren't always measured in medals and victories. They are measured in the struggles they overcome. The strongest people aren't always the people who win, but the people who don't give up when they lose.

~Ashley Hodgeson

Successful people aren't born that way. They become successful by establishing the habit of doing things unsuccessful people don't like to do. The successful people don't always like these things themselves; they just get on and do them.

~William M Thackeray

The tragedy of life is not found in failure but complacency. Not in you doing too much, but doing too little. Not in you living above your means, but below your capacity. It's not failure, but aiming too low, that is life's greatest tragedy.

~Benjamin E Mayes

In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope
In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort.
In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream.
And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.

~Michael Jackson

Men often become what they believe themselves to be.
If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it, even if I didn't have it in the beginning.

~Mahatma Gandhi

Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.

~Helen Keller

What I do you cannot do; but what you do I cannot do. The needs are great and none of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things with great love. And together we can do something wonderful.

~Mother Teresa

Nothing good for this world is ever attained without sacrifice. Nothing great in life is ever achieved without hard work. Nothing that we give to others, out of the goodness of our heart, is ever given without giving away a small piece of ourselves.

~Jay Goldman

Give out today like you will not see the next second; take in today like you will live for another 100 years to see the consequence of what you took in. What you take in determines your destiny and what you give out determines your legacy.

~Leussa Adrienne

You have a brush in one hand and paint in the other. You just need to realize that you are the Artist of your own destiny. The outcome of such a realization will transform the road ahead of you into canvas, waiting only for you to start painting.

~Conroy Sewepagaham

VRK Leaner

The VARK Questionnaire Results

Your scores were:

• Visual: 6
• Aural: 3
• Read/Write: 5
• Kinesthetic: 6

You have a multimodal (VRK) learning preference.

Cool~ I can learn in any way. (Or i can't learn well in any way...)

Danish Saying

Life is not simply holding a good hand; life is playing a poor hand well.

Failing Forward

Got this from John C Maxwell's Failing Forward...

Failure is the price we pay to achieve success.

Hence, we should not be afraid of failures because that's the only way we can get to success.

A Lawyer and a Chinese

Just read it as a joke. No offence intended.

A lawyer and a Chinese are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer thinks that all Chinese are so dumb that he could get over on them, easy.

So the lawyer asks if the Chinese would like to play a fun game. The Chinese is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the Chinese's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from The Earth to the Moon?'
The Chinese doesn't say a word, reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the Chinese's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?' The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the Chinese and hands him $500. The Chinese pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the Chinese up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?' The Chinese reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

Advice from Mr Ng

Care to discipline, Discipline to Care

Khaw Boon Wan as rock star!

Now, this is refreshing. The Health Minister is now a rock star! Check this out... http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=105001829413&h=TqvRB&u=lsq-8&ref=nf
Can really see the effort the government is putting in for the campaign~

Toilet Break

I thought this was funny~ Check out the poster!

Taken from http://gangasudhan.com/blog/2009/02/exclusive-interview-with-mas-selamat.html


G (Interviewer): So it's been a whole year and the authorities in Singapore are still searching the boots of budget cars and the storage compartments of motorcycles, hoping to find you. What do you think?

MSK (Mas Selamat): Eh, betul ke [Note: is that correct]? Bike box also they search ah? I am not THAT good lah - how to hide inside such a small space.If I do, I just call my brudders activate 3 Bangla [Note: Bangladesh Nationals who are illegal immigrants], hide in 3 different cars of sama-sama [Note: same] brand and then tip off ICA. When they get the first Bangla, they will search high and low for the specific brand and let other types go without checking much.So I will hide in another type of car driven by one pakcik and makcik [Note: Uncle and Aunty] with groceries - simple. Maybe if I boring-boring, wear disguise also can jalan [Note: go] through lah!

G: Interesting tactic. So was that how you left Singapore?

MSK: Oi! Nice try.... Who say I already left? Singapore government ah? Not so safe if narrow down further right. That minister [Note: Wong Kan Seng] already tembah [Note: shoot] he narrow down to 2 possibilities, you still want me to reveal further? Cannot lah, must jagah [Note: protect] a bit. But can confirm that the minister was spot on with his predictions sial!

G: Ok, ok, just trying our luck there to help the Singapore authorities, sorry. Well, since they have narrowed it down to 2 possibilities - one of which is where you actually are - within a short span of just one year, how safe do you feel about your status?

MSK: Correct also lah. They quite fast bring down to just 2 possibilities - a bit scary. I think one more year, become one possibility already - confirm. Then must lebeh jagah diri [Note: extra protect] myself to not get caught. Hopefully they narrow down to the wrong one, then a bit safe. Otherwise Selamat must Jalan [Note: run] again, hahahaha.

G: You seem quite upbeat and confident that even if they narrow down to the one correct possibility of the 2, you can still evade arrest. Why is this so?

MSK: Ya lah, no problem. They already kalang-kabut [Note: confused] the other time, use all their manpower, dogs, army - still cannot find me. I think my tactics can tahan [Note: withstand] lah. I use toilet paper and extra clothing already can bypass everyone.

G: So what are your plans moving forward?

MSK: Good question man. My Toilet Break episode is still an icon and macam I am the most 'published' man in Singapore sial - heard my posters are still pasted at many locations. More like 'In Memory' lah - they want everyone to remember about my success ah? Sure as hell doesn't look like it is meant to alert anyone....One thing I learn from Singapore is to market knowledge and experience to other countries so I am now conducting workshops on 101 Ways To Escape With A Limp. Quite popular and a lot of people join in - criminal biasah [Note: normal], terrorists and even civil servant also. Maybe the civil servant want to jagah their rice bowl so want to learn where are the lubangs [Note: loopholes].My rates are reasonable for everyone but of course got a special discount if member of Terrorist Organisation lah - cannot forget my brudders and the past.

G: I see. Sounds like the whole episode has been a blessing in disguise for your 'career'.

MSK: Yah, definitely! Now, no need to worry about money matters already - set for life. Really, it is so good that I decided not to hantam [Note: hit] Singapore already lah. Don't think they will learn anything anyway - old people kena 'export', poor people asked to go [censored]-spider, you think they really care if people die? Like that, seriously no point attacking lah.Who knows, if business picks up, maybe I anonymously pledge some money for my own capture lah, hahahaha. That one will be kelakar [Note: funny] seh! Maybe I do for second year anniversary, so can keep my semangat [Note: spirit] going - good for business also.

G: Interesting ideas you have. But nevertheless, you are still on many a Wanted List around the region and maybe even Interpol will be looking for you. In any case, you can never go mainstream with your business development. Any thoughts on that?

MSK: True also. Too bad I cannot anyhow say 'sorry' like that minister... what's his name.... Wan Kosong? [Note: Wong Kan Seng] ... and continue with my own thing macam [Note: like] no problem. But I really like the PM style - diam-diam [Note: quiet] for dunno how long then come out and tembah [Note: shoot] one 'what to do'. Class lah, that one.As for my business, no problem lah. I am in niche market and with celebrity status, I just need to wait for people to come. Aiyah, even that minister [Note: Wong Kan Seng] don't have photo on his wiki page ok!Also, Osama is impressed with my strategies so maybe got one lubang [Note: opportunity] from his side as consultant coming up. Like that, can go Saudi or Afghanistan macam [Note: like] Foreign Talent seh. Not bad for a 'Mat' fella right?By the way, ask Jack Neo if he want to do movie on my escape lah - he can call it Toilet Sure Break or something. But must pay royalty one...

G: Hahaha, yet another enterprising idea. Too bad you can't join politics in Singapore. With your popularity, poster-reach and iconic reputation, you can be a great Minister of Home Affairs! What better person to take charge than the man who exposed all the frailties of the arrogant system?

MSK: Thanks for the compliment man! You like macam angkat [Note: curry favour] me because I agree to this interview sial... Anyway, politics maybe not for me. If got problem and I go into the toilet, dunno if anyone will trust me to return.

G: That's a good point Mas Selamat. Well, we're coming to the end of this chat and would like to pose you a final question. What do you think will happen if you do get arrested and brought back to Singapore?

MSK: Sure habis [Note: finish] one. They will lock me up and throw away the key sial. Not to mention throw one big, fat wayang to trumpet their success to the world - even if I were to be overseas and be caught by some other country's authorities and sent back.I expect they will put their best-of-the-best officers to 'look after' me and have dedicated officers to watch me round-the-clock. But one thing's for sure - they have to give me a Toilet Break...

G: Ahhh, I see. A man who can escape from a toilet, will always have an opportunity! Happy Anniversary, you 'Limping Terrorist'.

MSK: Thanks lah, nice to be remembered. Let my fans in Singapore know every time I go toilet and hear the tap running always remember that wonderful day lah. Brings a tear to my eye and a twitch to my limp...
Mas Selamat remains a fugitive and anyone who does not doubt the authenticity of this interview really needs to check themselves into IMH - good news, they now have a bigger budget!